Slightly Whore-ish

i know

2006-03-29T11:55:00.000-08:00

i know i've been full of promises and full of excuses, but work has been crazy. but, i can promise an update this evening and a fantabulous picture for hnt...so keep on coming. literally!

must sleep more

2006-03-17T06:47:00.000-08:00

i'm exhausted. i don't know why. well obviously work is part of this...but other than that, i shouldn't be this tired.

i'm in bed every night before midnight, sleeping before one. and yet i'm still jonesin' for some zzzz's.

i'm sitting here at work with oodles of stupid crap to do, and i have absolutely no ambition to do anything. i just want to lay my head down and sleep. please.

its been a long time since i have woken up and felt refreshed. and i'm tired of that mother-fucking alarm clock telling me when to get up. i need a bar job back...i don't ever have to get up on time there.

i want one of those lazy days where you both lay in bed and pretty soon the cuddling turns into all out rampant sex. and then you lay there and pretty soon are doing it again. that would be fun.

i don't have anything to say. i want to have an all night drinking bender but i have to work tomorrow at 8. that makes thigns a little difficult. ok, saturday. but then sunday is my only day off and i don't want to waste it being completely hung over.

damn the man. i wanna quit.

lets just screw

2006-03-16T06:59:00.000-08:00

i know this is a blog about my sex and my love and my (newly adopted) children, but right now its going to be a rage against work.

i have received a threat of a verbal warning. yeah. it was written down. my boss was supposed to be in the office all day yesterday. i come in at 10 (flexible schedule, i have things going on this weekend for work). she is already gone. and has left me a NASTY letter about how this is unacceptable and i need to update my web calendar and blah blah crap.

SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE ALL DAY. UPDATE YOUR CALENDAR YOU CRAZY LADY AND I WOULD HAVE KNOWN.

oh well, enough of that.

this weekend was fine. saturday morning we got up bright and early with the kids and went to a wrestling match where psycho mom kicked in. then, we went to b's dad's house (he's building a new one) and were going to paint. i decided to go to walmart and buy mud boots for myself and little oldest one (four) to play. and play we did.

blah blah blah, the weekend was fine. monday i had the day off of work and i did laundry all day. literally, all day. but at least absolutely everything is clean in both b's house and mine. now we can at least keep up with it.

yeah, i lead a life of domesticated bliss. but its fine. i kinda like it.

last night i treated b to a fabulous blow job. he never gets them. ok, thats a lie, but he never gets them as to where i finish them. i usually just jump him halfway through. but this time, i hunkered down for the long haul. i figured he needed a little tlc. and i do believe he enjoyed it.

hnt thursday is going to be late again...shocker! but i'll definitely have one for you by 6:00 tonight!

lunch break

2006-03-09T12:40:00.000-08:00

i can't hardly type. my hands are still shaking. and it hurts to sit down.

i love makeup sex. there is something to be said about sweaty, 'why is your shirt still on and are you wearing only one sock?', 'where is my underwear, screw it i'll find another pair', i'm really late for work sex.

i think makeup sex is good for relationships. not that fighting/arguing is healthy, but in small doses it is. it makes both people realize how much they care. i felt so bad for hurting b. like gut wrenching-i-want-to-lay-on-the-floor-cause-i-think-i-may-puke kinda feeling. and it makes you realize how easy it is to hurt someone you love.

and it is scary cause he has the same power to hurt me.

but enough of this sappy crap. i show up at his house for some lunch. i eat. and we are sitting on the couch talking and i am apologizing and so is he. then we start kissing. and i NEED to be leaving to go back to work right then. but he knows if he can keep kisssing me so i can't talk, i will eventually give in once i'm excited enough.

pretty soon i just surrender to the fabulous feelings flowing through me. and we head to the bed room. and it is hard, and dirty, and rough, and all the things that make up sex should be. its as though we were both trying to get the last bit of pent up aggression out of our system. and i think we both succeeded.

yeah for saving the relationship!

I've been bad

2006-03-09T09:58:00.000-08:00

very very bad. I haven't blogged in what seems like ages. I picked a fight with b last night (more on that in a second) so i couldn't get him to take hnt pictures for me. and, i let him sleep on the couch.

yeah. last night, i (who never jokes or uses sarcasm to defend oneself) took the jokes with b a little too far and he got pissed. so, then i pick a fight, cause its much easier to argue with someone who is mad versus someone who is hurt. but then he wouldn't take pictures for me. and he slept on my couch.

i did bring him a pillow - the good one too - and he threw it at me. so i left it and went and laid back down. and realized the good pillow was laying on the floor. screw that! so i got it. and when i woke up this morning, he was curled up on the couch using the blanket for a pillow and his jacket to cover up with. yeah. he's still pissed.

up until this, things have been going good. we really haven't fought. but...it was obviously going to happen sometime. and this wasnt really even a fight. it would have been better. instead i just hurt him.

but, there will be a nooner which i will inform you later on, and there will be crazy nail-biting, clothes-ripping, cheese wonton filling sex tonight. cause i said so.

no i don't have crabs.

and my printer dock was sitting on my desk the next morning. i think someone reads this, so that is good. or very very bad...

crabby pants

2006-03-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

i'm not going to say much cause i don't want everyone to think i'm just a whining bitch. but thats ok, cause right now i am.

the weekend was fine. i'm crabby. work sucks. i don't want to be here. i want to go on vacation. my ex-ex boyfriend (the one who sent me flowers on vday) is being stupid crazy and all like, i can't believe you didn't tell me and alll this other stupid random shit and i want to know what the hell he's talking about but i don't want to call him cause then he wins. and work sucks. did i mention that? and it is cloudy gloomy even though it is warm and i hate hate hate spring cause its sloppy muddy, messy shit.

and i'm thirsty and i dont' have enough change to buy a pop and i just want one cause mother of god I WANT ONE AND I GET WHAT I WANT! but not today. amd my office is a mess. this beats. but the girlscout cookies came itn! and i've eaten alot of them. and i have this weird tumor like thing on my hand that is hurty. and i couldn't find my boots that i wanted to wear today. and the neighbor at b's has security locked wireless and i want on and i coulnd't find the unsecured one so i didn't have internet!

see, this is why i'm not posting much. i'll be better tomorrow. cause i'll get laid. oh, but i did have clothes ripping tabletop sex this weekend. and i loved it!

Full of excuses, and full of cum

2006-03-03T09:15:00.000-08:00

its lame-o. i know. and its late. i sound like a bitchy potentially-pregnant person. but, i babysat last night. and i didn't think it was appropriate to be working with my boobies when there were kiddies. so, here it is, a day late and a dollar short. and not as impressive as i thought it would be.

there was lots of late night try-and-be-quiet sex last night. does anyone else notice when you need to be quiet, things always seem to get more intense? maybe its just me.

therefore, i'm tired today. i just want to get drunk and have wild drunken sex. cause right now i don't want all slow quiet stuff. (not that it was like that last night, but i want to be loud) i want him to rip my clothes off and fuck me while i'm laying on the kitchen table. thats what i want.

write that down.

Sexual Healing - caution, some rage may follow

2006-03-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

nothing smoothes over some ruffled feathers like a 'hey roomie watch the kids cause we are going to get mcdonalds and have crazy maniac-like sex in a car'

ok, it didn't go quite like that. i get done with work yesterday and head to b's. we fold some laundry, make his bed and take off to pick up the kiddies. (i love domestication...especially when my personal outcome is like it was.)

interruption - who the mother-fucking christ has the audacity to take my camera dock. this is my office, my computer, my stuff, and worst, my personal docking station. you stupid butt-sex loving (oops, thats me now too) criminals and all your glory think you can just waltz your fucked up fuckin ugly asses in here and take my shit. listen bitches, i work pretty fricken close to the jail...and thats where i'm going to put you when i find you...after they take your cunty-mc-cunt-cunt broken bleeding body to the ER cause i have beaten you with anything within arms reach...which, if you've seen my office - AND I KNOW YOU HAVE CAUSE YOU STOLE MY DOCKING STATION - you would understand that is a threat on your life. so, motherfucker, whatcha gonna do now biatch?
sorry about that. ihave a fantabulous hnt photo and as you can guess from the rant, i can't post it. but i am sending it to all y'all in esp...can you feel it? it involves boobies and some water. i'll post it asap. but not till after 430 when i can go home. so, lets be honest...it'll probably make it up around 3 am.

ANYWAY. back to the sexual healing story. we pick up the kids and get to his house. then, the ex decides she is going to call him and bitch about me being in the car when we pick them up.

FIRST OFF - we took my car - its a lot easier than his truck is! don't i have a right to drive my own mother fucking car?

SECOND OF ALL - you live with your boyfriend! who you cheated on b with while you were married!

so back the fuck up sista.

yeah. their convo took about 45 minutes. in this time, i have finished cooking supper, got the kids ready to eat...all sat down, and ate. yeah.

well, i feel bad. i don't want to make b's live any harder. so, i admit, i am quiet during the evening. the kids finally go to bed, and we ask roomie to watch them (they are sleeping anyways) while we get mcdonalds. in the car b asks me what is wrong. i tell him. and of course he feels bad too (good answer b). at this point we are just randomly driving around cause of all the talking that was going on and i really didn't want to interrupt the flow with a "hello, may i take your order" coming through a box with a screen.

i find us by a house (my dream house) i want to buy - IF I EVER WIN THE MOTHER FUCKIN LOTTERY. ok, its not a lottery-winning house, its just WAY out of my price range - yeah, its 389,000. yeah. outta my range. and we are on some gravel and he starts kissing my neck and the next thing i know we are parked (which is completely my fault as i was driving). and he suggests we get in the back seat. great idea. EXCEPT THERE ARE TWO GOD DAMN CARSEATS BACK THERE. ok, we'll just stay in the front.

and let me tell you...the passenger seat has never been so comfortable. and i can't remember a time i have been that sweaty. and honestly, the windows were fogged up. it was great. it reminded me of highschool when you were all rebellious to sit and make out in a car.

and we got mcdonalds, and went home. and roomie was curious as to know why we were so late. uh, yeah. i just walked away and let b explain that one.

ok...the end of that story and i'm just going to continue my rage cause i dont' have a docking station. the ex. i will refer to her as x from now on. are you keeping up? thinks 'i don't like her'. why wouldn't i like her. cause she is b's ex. duh. what? is this like 8th grade? are you seriously that stuck on yourself that you think i won't like you cause of that?

is pregnant again. with baby daddy #2...the one she is living with. probably not much of a threat there are ya honey?

didn't finish high school. has never held a job for more than 8 months...and it wasn't full time. didn't put the oldest kiddie in preschool cause she spent the money b gave her on clothes. mother fucking clothes. ok, but headstart is available and its FREE. yeah, but she didn't want everyone knowing her son qualified for free pre-school. WHAT? what do you think people think with you who works 15 hours a week and was living on your own? they think you are making millions?

feels that i am becoming their 'new mom'. first of all, this is something you are going to have to deal with eventually no matter with me or someone else. second, PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS. the reason they like me is cause we do things...not watch tv. we make pirate hats, and cap-a-pillas, and finger paint. of course i'm exciting!

and to top it off, my favorite line of the phone conversation that i heard before b turned the volume way the fuck down...you know, when you first told me you were seeing someone, i was happy for you. and now that i've met her and she is with you when you pick up the kids, i'm not happy anymore. i liked it better when you were alone.

wow, what a mature person to want what is best and what makes the person they were with for 5 years and marrried to, and fathered the children you love - happy. grow the fuck up. you are having your 3rd kid. it is time you entered the real world of maturity. and by the way...if i ever hear you call me by that name again, i'll hire a hit man.

sorry for all this rage. i'm not sure where it is coming from. i know the missing docking station didn't help and other than the fabulous sex, last night sucked. so, tomorrow i promise i will be half-nekkid and in a better mood. peace

thanks a bunch

2006-03-01T11:15:00.000-08:00

you know, i had this crazy sex-filled post but i thought i would address everyone who commented and say thank you. (i will fill you in on the bizarre-o day tomorrow).

to begin with, meeting b's kids was really scary - for both of us. i know he was nervous and i was terrified. it was however, something we had been discussing. i work with youth every day, and one of the things we talked about it me working with his kids via my job. so, no matter what, next year, the oldest will be participating in what i do. also, i baby-sit lots. i used to anyways. and since i have lived here, i have baby-sat for lots of peoples kiddies so they could have a night out. so the baby-sitter thing was probably semi-attractive to him.

i had my reservations as when i was in college, one of my friends had a 4 year old. i baby-sat for her all the time. then, katie and i got into a fight and BOOM! i never see the tyke again. so, i was really scared that something like this was going to happen. he assured me that i could be as active or inactive in those kids' lives as i wanted to be. and at first, i didn't really want to be. but they grow on you. and i love being with them. and i honestly can't imagine not seeing them. his sister and i have our next wrestling tourney planned and the oldest one asked if he can come with me. of course he can. my friend and i are going to take the kids to the movies tomorrow night.

so, yeah, as scary as it is to be involved, i feel i am benefitting their lives in some way or another. the oldest is getting much better at his colors (for some reason their mom didn't put him in preschool). we make projects at least twice a week after i'm done with work...which is good for them as well as good for me. it makes me remember why it is i am doing this job. come summer, things in my job are fabulous...but now it sometimes gets a little political. two weeks ago, we all made pirate hats out of newspaper and made our own treasure chests out of shoe boxes. this week we are going to make pet rocks and start growing some beans. cause thats what i love to do.

i have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. so, now i'm just getting a little practice at this mom thing. and i know, if anything ever happens between the kids and i, it won't be by my choice. and b has said that he will never tell me not to see the kids. so, for now, i'm just going to go with the flow...cause i'm happy, and they are happy, and b's happy. i don't plan on going anywhere...i'm not saying i'm going to move in with him or not, but i can honestly say i have never ever contemplated moving in with someone or felt as easily comfortable with anyone as i do him. and i like it. and this slutbag is no longer...

but, onto your advice, even though i probably tackled some of the issues already brought up...

Rico - i'm definitely not thinking short term...long term...its kinda scary. but i have never felt like i could be long term with someone until now. he challenges me. and i like it.

yournamehere - i perfer owie-fixer-bag. and 'oh my god, i can start a mommy blog!3:15 PM

Claudia - ohh, i like claudia's name better than mine!
I say change it to "monogomousbagofhappyfuntimes"

eNuttz - i agree. but i also know i'm happier now - truly - than i was when i was out slutting around. i think i was just looking for that person who was willing to let me be me. still with a slut mouth with fantabulous dsl's who like to have lots of wild and crazy sex and who won't tell me what to do, cause lets face it, at that point i'm going to do the complete opposite who doesn't care that all my friends are guys and is comfortable enough to let me be with them by myself and know i'm not going to screw them at the drop of a hat. wow...its some big shoes to fill, and he has done that quite well. not that i'm picky or anything...

ramblings - we haven't been dating for a long time...and thats the scary part. but, im definitely not going to be making a quick decision on this.

Cherry! - while it lasts...are those the key words?

Steph - i never thought of myself as the girl to move in with someone before we were married. i don't know why i may have changed my opinion. i know i don't want to get stuck living with someone who isn't in a hurry to get married. i don't want to be living together for like 6 years and be all - GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR YOU LAZY FUCK! hope that wouldn't happen.

Sonya - thanks sonya. i agree with the great sex stuff. you can always find sex...and sometimes its good, but great sex is something you find and don't want to let go...

Troy - thanks!

Timmortal - thanks tim. i understand that things like that are probably pretty tough. however, my circle of friends here isn't really small, but its very closed. there isn't a lot of new people that i am meeting. and honestly, there is really only about 3 places i would ever sleep...and b knows all of them. he also knows what its like to be drunk. now, if i said i passed out in 'the crazy one's' bed, things might be a little different. but if i passed out in the crazy one's bed, I'M A COMPLETE IDIOT WHO NEEDS SERIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP. cause he's crazy. and if i did move in...i would keep my apartment at least time sept 1st. cause i'd need it for the summer.

annabella - good luck!

RoxiMoon -oooh, i'd love to cheer at your wrestling match...annabella's honey is making me a cheerleading out fit. it should be great. oh, and the pay - i demand fruit snacks...cause the littlest loves them and i can' tbring byself to buy them.

jules - thanks!

rayray - i appreciate your concern, i think i addressed it in the actual post. but, i agree. there are way too many people thrown into kids lives without weighing the consequences. like me and katies little one. bitches. that one still hurts.

crazy psycho mom

2006-02-27T13:14:00.000-08:00

i have become. you know, the one who is on the sidelines of whatever sport it may be yelling their fool head off.

wrestling. i grew up with it. my younger brother did it, all my friends did it, i helped out all the time at meets and huge tourneys. it is in my blood.

b's sisters kid wrestles. we decide to take the kids to the match. (mind you, he's in 1st grade) i get there and it all comes flooding back. all the adreneline, all the raw energy. The son is out there. and i am yelling. and taking pictures. and cheering. ok, i wasn't yelling, just cheering loudly.

but it was fun. and he got 3rd. so now i'm going to help him with some of his moves.

yeah, lets see how involved i can possibly get in this family.

oh, and b asked me to move in with him when he moves out of town. do you know what this means? i don't have to shut my shades...and i can mow the lawn in a bikini top.

do you know what this means? i have to drive 1/2 hour to work every day. and I WOULD BE LIVING WITH HIM.

he isn't going to move until may, so i do have some time to think about it. i think i would keep my apt through the summer, due to the way my job schedule is in the summer, the 1/2 trip won't be very handy.

but he does make a good point. i can't remember the last time either one of us has stayed somewhere without the other. i am finally giving up tonight and going and buying another hair straightener and duplicate makeup so i don't always wonder where my stuff is, my house or his. cause this joint custody of my showering supplies is getting old, really fast.

but, this is really scary. i don't live with people. i moved into my ex-boyfriend's (when he was my boyfriend) house AFTER he moved out! so, yeah. who knows.

WTF?

i love the sauce

2006-02-24T08:04:00.000-08:00

B and i started drinking last night. by ourselves. in his house. he was just trying to get me liquored up. to stick things in my sweet virgin ass. little did he know, i am not-to-shabby at drinking. but he knew that. but he didn't know how far my skills in quarters would take us.

Quarters - the drinking game.
im good at it. not the best, but i can definitely hold my own. he wanted to play. fine. i missed a couple times, just so i could get some beer in my system as i play better with a little booze in my veins. and better i became. good enough to kick his ass. ha ha, take that.

and then we went to my house. and the sweet virgin ass is no more. b was really good and let me set the pace and i can honestly say the thought of it was much worse than the actual act. but i know i'm going to miss my sweet virgin ass.

i have nothing sweet and virgin left anymore. i'm sad.

why does he have this power over me? why is it i know i would walk to the ends of the earth if he asked? i used to be all hard core bitch with ice running through my veins who was constantly in control. now i'm this person who loves sunshine and blue color crayons and babies and gushy stuff like that. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?

my friend j thinks its funny. he used to tell me i was an intimidating person (i've heard that lots before). not because i'm so attractive, but because i put out the vibe that i don't need anyone and a man in my life would only get in the way. yeah. now look at me!

pretty soon i'm going to start crying at movies and shit.

oh god, kill me now!

shave vs. wax

2006-02-23T08:51:00.000-08:00

ha ha...got you all excited didn't i!

sorry to say, the hnt pic isn't that exciting.

but i do have some questions to be asking all you folks out there.

but first, the second lame-o hnt pic in a row.

Thats right kiddies...its my gorgous gams on the sandy tropical beach of texas. cause lets face it, i love south padre.

and...on to the questions.

shave vs. wax?

I am a psychotic shaver. i (literally) used to have a problem with shaving my armpits excessively. like, i owned 6 razors that were randomly placed everywhere - my golf bag, my car, my house, the bar (work), in my beach bag, and in s's car. yeah, crazy i know. in the switching of jobs (growing up) i have much less opportunity to shave my pitters. but it is at least once a day. bikini line and more. everyday. every every day. i never miss one day. but here is my thing. there has been a lot of friction lately, and with it being winter, skin gets dry. so, i'm going to have it waxed as then i won't have to do it every day. but a question. you have to (obviously) let it get long before you can wax it. so, what do you do while waiting for the wax? just let it be long? i've now gone three days. and - i'm. dying. here. i feel like sasquatch. what do you do? and do people not mind the week's worth of growth before you can get it waxed? (i know its longer when you have already started the waxing process). i'm just not sure what to think about this hairy-ness.

and one more...

caution: this paragraph will contain several references to things not to be done/have done/or thought about prior to your 18th birthday.

anal sex - yes or no. i'm slightly afraid of it. ok, i'm terrified. i want to hear it all. from both sides of the story. i know i know. most people would think i would have done this, but my bum is my bum. and no on elses. until now i guess. the fact i am even contemplating this is rather scary. but at least we have discussed it rather than b just 'trying to get one by me'.

thats all for now. please help me though!

weekend wrap up

2006-02-22T11:29:00.000-08:00

yes, it was awesome. just as awesome as the first two times. no, b doesn't have a blog...and if he did, i don't think you would be able to read it at work. so, maybe its a good thing he doesn't.

friday night:
i worked. i worked from 830 on friday morning until 1130 on saturday morning. but i did take off an hour to go pick up b from the bar. and drop him off at home.

saturday:
he wasn't feeling so well (ha ha). i love it when people are hung over and i'm not. it always seems really funny to me. i spent the day watching movies and dozing off as i was rather tired from the night before. d got here about 8 and we headed out. ok, who am i kidding. d and i stood in my bedroom for about an hour trying to figure out what we were going to wear. then, we headed out. to a band. that we love. and had lots of fun at. then, we headed home. to b's house (yes, i know, i now refer to it as home, the house, my abode...pretty much any reference made to living is made in conjunction to his house. mine is the apartment.)

for some reason i thought it would be a good idea to tackle d...i'm not sure? anyway, she hit her head and i thought it was all over at that point. nope, she's a trooper! we ventured into the bedroom and b and d are already in bed and i climb into the middle-as that was the only space available. let me tell you, you could cut the tension with a knife. a sexually explicit knife. b turns me towards him and starts kissing me. and from that point on, the rest is history.

for some reason, b had decided that sunday was the day he was going to go back to work after not working for quite some time (by choice and the fact it is unnecessary financially). what a dumbass! so, i wake him up t 8 am and for some reason am relatively awake. i help him rearrange the vehicles so he can take my car to work. i put in a porn for d and i to watch (he was kinda upset about that one) and i call jon to bring us some mcdonalds brekkie.

which he does.

so jon and i stayed up and watched some movies while d slept in the bedroom. i do think there was some napping going on as well. b comes home from work and doesn't feel so hot. ha ha. ok, i feel like crap too.

some china buffet and a couple more movies and d took off. b and i then proceded to move ourselves back into the bedroom and have crazy amounts of sex amidst movies. then we moved to my house and continued to do the same.

monday: absolutely nothing. b and i moved his extra tv and dvd player into my bedroom. i hve always said i will never have a tv in my bedroom cause it drives me absolutely nuts. but, if i ever want to sleep with him at my house, a tv in the bedroom there will be.

so, all in all it was a fantastic weekend of sexual escapades and lazy-lying-in-bed-all-day sex. but, it was most certainly fun.

happy hnt tomorrow!

Third times the charm

2006-02-21T10:35:00.000-08:00

yup - and enjoyed it we did. more later. must do work and stop masturbating to erotic thoughts of threesome that took place on saturday night. good thing i had monday off to contemplate (play with myself) what i did.

Lame-o HNT

2006-02-16T09:17:00.000-08:00

ok, i'm lame....and i still didn't get my garbage out on time. dammit!

and i know this isn't really half nekkid, but i was in the process of getting nakkid...does that count? sorry folks, b had the kids last night and i don't think its very appropriate for me to get a gussied up and have him start taking photos...

on the other hand. it would have been fun.

just a side note though. he put my socks in a drawer. ok, i never match my socks. ever. i buy very similar ones and just throw them in a drawer and pull them out at random. it works for me. there are some i match...like my toe socks or my golfing socks, but other than that, its a free for all.

so, when it comes time for folding laundry at his house, i just end up putting all the socks in one basket and leaving them. i'm happy with it, if he wants more done he can do it himself. and he did. he matched my socks and put them in a drawer. i feel weird.

i asked him if he minded that my socks were in a drawer (duh, if he minded too much, he probably wouldn't have done it!). and he said no, he would be sad if my socks weren't there. huh? interesting.

last night j (crazy one's roommate) came over and i cooked homemade chicken pot pie for dinner (recipe courtesy of j's mom) and it was fantasatic. however, i definitely had the feeling of suzie q homemaker...especially since b's friend c came over with his little one (one year old). i felt like my mother...not that that is a bad thing, i love her very much.

next week, my hnt post will be me wearing an apron with a child on each hip - thats hot.

questions - so many questions

2006-02-15T12:25:00.000-08:00

how could i have possibly been with someone who is as retarded as my ex? how could i possibly be with someone who is so good now? how can things be on the complete opposite ends of the spectrum? hmmm? i've really got nothing to post.

vday was fine. went to bar/grill. b thinks his sister is getting the idea that a threesome may have occurred. i don't think we talk about it, just random jokes here and there. weird. if she does figure it out, it will be really uncomfortable.

so here is a question for you with the grand prize being one of these... except not the incredibles...the pez dispenser i am offering is even better - nascar - thats right folks, a nascar pez dispenser for the person who can tell me the best story on how you lost your virginity.

you can either post it as a comment or email me the you tales of missing your v card.

or, if you don't have a good virginity losing story...maybe you took someone elses. lets here it folks!

We don't need no water let the mother fuc*er burn

2006-02-14T11:43:00.000-08:00

and burn it did.

FROM ALL THE FRICTION OF HAVING FANTASTIC MAKE UP-FROM-NOT-A-REAL-FIGHT SEX

take that bitches.

yes, i agree. emotions are bad. they give b the upper hand. but in this case my drunken rambling gave me the upper hand. again. i'm the champion my friend. and i'll keep on fighting til the end.

i get done with work and go to b's. he's all quiet and still remotely frustrated/angry/pissed off. then we start talking about 'the discussion'. and it comes into play there is a segment of the conversation that i wasn't fully remembering (ok, i had no clue). but he doesn't want to talk about it. so, we went to said bar and grill to meet up with one of my friends. so i (in a jovial manner) tell her b doesn't want to talk about this issue hoping he would want to. then he gets pissed and says he already told me he doesn't want to talk about it.

fine pussy-licker (and a good one at that) - we won't talk about it.

then we get in the car to go home - him having much more drinks than me tells me what i said. i told him i was afraid i was going to get bored and leave.

ok, now i know this sounds really mean, but keep in mind (in a perfect world) EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WILL FAIL...YES, ALL BUT ONE WILL END IN HEARTACHE.

thats what i meant. and my track record is obviously not that stellar for long time love. i get bored easily. i have the attention span of a gnat. at least i'm honest about it.

but, we discussed it and i explained that i'm not planning on getting bored, its just my biggest fear...and realistically, it probably wouldn't even have come into play except my mother said she wanted to meet b as he has held my attention for this long. burn.

so yes, makeup sex it was. and it was spectacular. if this is what is going to happen everytime i get drunk and decide to talk, pass the bottle please!

yeah. valentines day. sucks. i hate it. i think if there is any holiday we are expected to celebrate, we should get the day off of work. seriously! i think it sucks. not to mention the fact my ex-ex boyfriend sent me flowers at work. duh. what a waste of money. one must realize this is stupid on his part. if i wanted to be with you, in the past 9 months, i probably would have changed my mind on not being with you!

speaking of, the crazy one is doing fine. he sat next to b at the bar and grill the other night. i almost peed my pants laughing.

karma is a bitch as b said before the crazy one walked in that he hoped the crazy one sat by me. ha ha sucka!

so yes. emotions suck. i'm not good at them. i don't talk about how i feel. and i certainly don't like that certain someone to know about them. but, i do know he feels the same way i do...which is comforting as to assure me i'm not clinically insane (not that i ever thought that but hypothetically the thought may have crossed someone's mind).

so, there you have it...hot off the press. a record breaking friction fire on valentine's day eve not even remotely related to valentine's day. or the pretty pink handcuff's i have purchased for him on said i-hate-this-holiday holiday. but keep that on the d.l.

and for all those singles out there who are going to have a smashing good time getting fricken wasted tonight...i have my favorite toast for you:

To Honor -
Getting on her,
Staying on her,
If you can't come in her,
Come on her...

i'll be back all week folks, have a good night!

Burn...

2006-02-13T13:08:00.000-08:00

So, i don't do relationships. i never really have.

i know all of you have heard this before from me, but i'm a little upset/angry/scared/frustrated. sorry, you are all going to have to deal with it.

to begin with, nothing exciting happened this weekend. b had the kids so friday night we watched the end of the first season of the OC. i totally have him hooked now!

yeah, then i had to work all night saturday night. so, last night was our first night together without the kids for a while. we watched some tv, did some laundry and decided to go to bar/grill for a couple as b's sister was working. we get there and i realize they have level vodka - FINALLY some good vodka for me to drink. (ok, honestly, i'll drink bad vodka if necessary) so...i order a dirty martini with my level vodka. it was great. and i had two more and a shot of tequilla. what a great night.

we get back to b's and for some ungodly stupid reason, i start talking. i don't talk. no - correction...i talk all the time but about random shit. i'll talk your ear off and you will never hear me say anything remotely personal about myself. its just who i am.

but for some reason i decide i'm going to tell b exactly how i feel. mind you, i knew i was buzzed at this point, but i certainly didn't think i would purge my words all over him. i tried to be honest. i told him i was scared. i told him i didn't like not having the answers. i told him there were times when part of me wanted to run the hell out of there and go home to somewhere else. I wasn't telling him this to promise me anything or feel bad for me or feel special about himself, i was finally telling someone how i felt. and it felt good.

until this morning. and now it feels really really bad. like i am not sure if i am welcome there after work. no, i know i am but... he couldn't even look at me when i asked him if everything would be ok.

so, i guess its back to not saying much of anything...my teachers in elementary school always told me i talked to much. i guess i should have listened.

damn the man.

Bad Blogger, Bad, Bad, Bad!

2006-02-10T10:15:00.000-08:00

One would think i would be able to balance my time so i was able to spend a spare 15 minutes updating this sexual escapade-like diary.

one would think i would care less about b and more about getting some different clothes from my house as i have worn basically the same thing for 2 weeks.

one would think i would eventually get tired of having sex with him as i have gotten tired of having sex with everyone else at this point.

one would think i should hurry up and have him take some hnt pictures for me for you.

one would think my ever-increasing ass would cause concern to me and inspire my sour-cream ass to 'do a sit-up fatty' or perhaps go for a run.

one would think when i had to ask b on thursday morning if we had sex the night before, i would have realized i drank too much and not drank again on thursday.

one would think i should empty out my mailbox and start paying some of those bills

yeah, who am i kidding...i know you guys don't think!!

sorry i've been gone. work sucks. its busy and i can't quite seem to ever catch up. i feel like i'm always grasping at straws.

b and i are doing well. i did get really hammed on wednesday. and there wasn't even good sex to go with it as i'm pretty sure i would have vomitted...all over him...while we were doing it. how romantic!

you know you are a heavy sleeper when you wake up in the morning and there is a different dvd in the player and two empty bowls...one filled with the remains of a lettuce salad, and the other with ice cream and chocolate sauce, two popcans (empty), and an empty glass of chocolate milk. apparently, i fell asleep right after our good bout of lovin' (i always fall asleep after...it bad, i know it) at about 1:00 am and b couldn't sleep so he was up until about 5 am...he watched a couple more dvds...ate some food...yeah! and i slept right through it all. in the same bed. is this a problem.

it makes me really glad i didn't wake him up for some morning sex. which i considered. and considered again. but then...decided not to cause then i would have to shower for work before i went. i know, i'm dirty. i admit it.

but, thats about it for now kiddies! this blogger realizes the error of her ways and will no longer piddle in the living room and will update the blog every other day...for the rest of my life...

pure, unadultered fun

2006-02-06T06:49:00.000-08:00

This weekend. was. fabulous.

Johnny, of course, lived up to my very high expectations and i proceded to become slightly intoxicated and dance on the bar. it was great. and i sang. so fun was had by all.

hungover saturday ensues, and i have to drive home. that was not so much fun. and i had to work for a couple hours...with people. that also was not fun.

saturday night...you guessed it, back to the (shocker) bar! but, it was pretty quiet. i think i might have still possibly been drunk from the night before. i know when i hit the mailbox at 1230 pm on saturday, i was. yeah, that was great.

sunday, b and i layed in bed all day and watched movies. i can't think of the last time i have allowed myself to be that lazy. of course it ended about 430 when i started freaking out and doing laundry and cleaning his house. and cooked a turkey dinner. yeah. i can only hold out for so long.

he wants to know why i called him and asked him the name of the popsicles...he knows about this blog, but has never read it or doesn't know how to find it. i don't think this is something he should be reading so lets hope he is never going to find this.

things are well with us. scary, but good. thanks for everyones advice, you are right...i just need to go with the flow. and it seems the flow is constantly taking me back to b's bed. (it is a great bed. very comfy. but no headboard that you can tie things to. i am sometimes disappointed. but there is a mirrored section. so that makes up for it.)

b and i had the discussion last night on if the me a d (friend whos a girl) thing is cheating. its kind of an iffy situation. what do you think? is it cheating?

let me know, just for curiousity's sake!

Its cold out.

2006-02-03T09:11:00.000-08:00

I have found the best thing ever. Everyone should own these. There are 30 in a box, and they are little and very slow melting. i think they are aimed at children, but whatever!

I was at a work conference basically all week so obviously i didn't get any action. i was rather deprived. it is sad when all you can think about is getting home and getting some. but here's something that is even more sad...

i missed b. now that is sad. i feel like the biggest loser ever admitting that. i have never needed anyone?! why am i starting to need/want someone now? i don't stay overnight at people's houses...we get the deed done and i leave. unless i am drunk and just staying somewhere. then i sleep and no hibbety-dibbety occurs. i have rules. and i have broken every single one of them. why?

what makes b so different? is it the kids? is it because (apparently) i am ready to start my life and this is obviously the hugest jumpstart to that ever? or is it because i see what an awesome dad he is and i know that is something i want in someone. what? do i really like him this much?

last night when the 4 year old was crying cause he had a stomach ache, i was the one up and giving him tums. it was a no sleep evening and since b is home all day with them, i let him go and sleep on the couch and 4 year old slept with me. after i made his tummyache better. cause slutbag is good at things like that - i guess.

on to a much less stepmom/whore topic, i'm going to see johnny holm tonight. he is only my favorite person ever. he just plays covers but damn, can he get the crowd involved. there is a bunch of us going to see him. jon, and his roommate (not the crazy one) and b and nate and d is meeting us there...its going to be one exciting night. who knows what could happen with us. last time, i made out with johnny. yeah, he's 52. but, its ok...b has given me permission to make out with him if i want to...as long as he can make out with d.

sure - as long as i can make out with her too!

yep, we are all in for a wild ride...hold on to your hats, its time to let the slutbag out of the bag and see what happens - and i'm sure it will be fun.

on a side note...i think (know) i need to update my links...let me know!

hiatus

2006-02-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry, i've been at a conference all week...i'll be here later tonight though, with hnt picture for y'all. love ya!

hnt and a story

2006-01-26T10:09:00.000-08:00

ok, i admit this is a pretty shitty photo, but i was busy with other things last night if you catch my drift. sorry about the grainy-ness but apparently my mirror is really dirty. yeah. and i still didn't get my garbage out in time.

but the story...dum dum dum

so, my friend jon is fabulous. he is 'the crazy one's' friend. i love him. so, after the first 'incident with 3 people' i had to tell someone so i told jon. of course he approved. well, i walk into said bar/restaurant on tuesday and he looks and me and calls me over. "what?" i say. "no fucking way!" he says. "I have no idea what you are talking about" i reply. "you did it again, didn't you?"

now, how could he tell that by just seeing me. am i wearing a sign on my forehead that says uber-dyke? damn b, this is bothersome. so of course i had to tell him after that and he now thinks b is the luckiest man on earth...and he's probably right. ha! just kidding.

so, then last night jon and b and i go out for drinks and b and jon sit there and talk about it - this was slightly uncomfortable for me. jon just kept glancing sideways at me. i know he isn't going to tell anyone so i don't care that he knows, cause obviously i told him in the first place, but shouldn't they have discussed this not with me there? i'm all for hearing the butts to nutts and balls to walls stories, but usually they are about someone else! whatever...it lead to fantastic sex so that was nice.

again, sorry about the hnt pictures overall level of suckiness. i really need to get on the ball.

oh yeah, wish jon good luck for the dr.s appt. today that i have to bring him to. may all your prayers be with him for the funky spunk in his trunk...please lord, let it be good! amen.

Bitches

2006-01-25T14:22:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged. by mike - or is it michael? who the hell cares, he's hot. that all i'm gonna say...other than the fact if you are ever in town, you betta beez givin me a call bizzo. i'm cool, i know it.

ok...

the rules: the tagged victim lists 8 different points of their perfect lover/partner, mentioning sex of that partner.

male - yes...i know i've been to the other side, but i want my life partner to be male - sorry

1. Honest
2. Funny
3. Fun loving
4. Outgoing
5. Trusting
6. Comfortable (right there with confident...i like the fact people can admit they need help, or can't do something. so, in my book, comfortable is the right word)
7. down to earth
8. bedroom skills (i'm just going to lump this all in one cause i don't want to take up all of my numbers with sex stuff. so number 8 gets a list of its own.
1. comfortable (with themself)
2. able to listen to my wants/needs/desires
3. able to share his
4. honest
5. loyal
6. clean
7. willingness to just let me touch his skin forever (and with this obviously comes soft skin!)
8. a drive that can keep up

so, here we go. i'm taggin y'all for some nookie. i wanna here what you have to say...but remember, its not as easy as you may think!

1. my fav fan, cap'n
2. tumbleweed
3. pizzle
4. steph
5. doug
6. trix
7. cybermule
8. mandy

yeah...have fun with that! and oh my god. i've got a story. be back soon with that, gotta get these tags out!

A Threesome - Take 2

2006-01-24T07:33:00.000-08:00

Thats right folks, it happened again. and it was spectacular.

Saturday night, my friend 'd' comes to town. and remember what happened last time d and i got together? well, threesome, part deux.

D comes down from her humble town. we meet up with b and nate for some drinkies. b has agreed to be the sober-er cab for us. we are all drinking and having a great old time. then, the bar closes and we go back to b's house.

d and i are just plain tired. i tell her she can sleep in the bed with me so we are laying in there. b comes in and we both move over. i'm laying in the middle. the next thing i know, d is on top of me kissing me. hmmmm. this is nice...

pretty soon she has worked her way down to my chest and is slowly working her way farther south. b looks at me.

"is this ok?" i ask.

"yup" he replies as he leans in for a kiss.

by now d is definitely putting her skills to good use. she's working her tongue steadily on my clit as she shoves her fingers deep inside me. b is feverishly kissing my neck and chest.

all i can think is why have i been missing out on this for so long? pretty soon i realize it is time to give a little. and give i did. and so did b. and so did d. we all gave, and took, and gave, and probably took at least one more time.

the next day d leaves and i know he is just burning up to talk about it. so we do.

and then...we have fabulous sex - repeatedly.

B says D can come and visit anytime she wants. I agree. so d? its an open invitation...

anytime, anyplace.

Rise and shine bitches

2006-01-20T07:53:00.000-08:00

Dear B

If you aren't going to wake up, i'll wake you up. sorry, i know you were sound asleep when i got back from the bar. i woke you up so you could move from the couch to the bedroom. then, you proceded to go back to your restful slumber.

Screw that. i wanted some. and i was going to get some. i'm sorry i removed the covers from your body and started licking your neck, chest, stomach, bellybutton (can you see where i was going?). licking you all over was having my desired effect on your nether regions, so, i started licking them. was that a problem?

eventually you woke up. i was happy. i took my scabby knees and worked them to the best of my ability - there was no complaining here. i hope you don't mind. i'm glad things worked out the way they did. and i was able to go to bed. without having to have some 'me' time.

so, in short, i'm sorry i woke you up, but am very pleased with the results. we'll have to do this again sometime. yeah, you just let me know when you are tired, and i'll take care of that.

thanks again,
sb.

HNT with ow-ies

2006-01-19T10:29:00.000-08:00

Here are the HNT pics...and a story to boot. ~i'm not sure why my knees look so bony...i think its the flash.

This picture was taken Wednesday night. before they became scabs. at this point, they were really only tender spots on my knees.

This is what they look like now. scabs. gross scabs. guess i won't be wearing a skirt anytime soon.

and...last but not least. THE SCAB ON MY FACE. this is a bad picture as the scab really runs down my eye socket to my cheekbone.

and the story...as promised.

however, i'll give you a preview - a broken plastic whip, ice cubes, water, clean clothes, shots, booze, n being a fuck-head, b being a great fuck, match on the nipple, boots in the bathtub, and lots of tongue.

to being this, i'd like to apologize as this is the 2nd time i've had to write this and i'm guessing it was better the first.

tuesday. i have meetings til 9. i call b and he and n are at bar/restaurant. i get there. and am very impressed by the fact they are still coherent as when i met them at 415, they had already started drinking at sidelines (bar). so, yes, they were coherent. the couple sitting next to them...not so much.

i knew the night would be interesting when b moved over and his pants kind of 'strained' over his (whisper) 'you know what'. ok, lets go home. but, at that point i had a beer in front of me and i wasn't going anywhere. some beers, some shots, the evening was going well. n was kinda being a douche-bag, but thats what happens sometimes. a couple more drinks, a couple shots, the couple took some shots...then, n called "the crazy one" with my phone. yup, time to go!

b left his vehicle there and we were both in my car. i'm pissed. and i feel bad cause i'm mad. why was i mad. of course i was mad a n, but the fact was, i feel bad about 'the crazy one'...he's nice...i'm sorry i find him so annoying i want to stab my eyes out with a spork, hibatchi the hell out of them with some bbq, and feed it to the sea-gulls. other than that, he's fine (oh, and the breaking and entering thing)

b is trying to make me feel better. we get home. and sit in his driveway making out. i just love that. it makes me feel like i'm 16 again - i think its fun - STOP LAUGHING AT ME!

anyway, i realize i am going to pee my pants. we race into the house and i bolt up the stairs. and realize my boots have made mud all over the floor. so, i do the normal thing and take them off and set them in the bathtub. ~yes, i had been drinking. i was over the legal limit and know i shouldn't have been driving. no, i wasn't to the point of vomitting. but i was ready to have some fun.~

i go and lay face down on b's bed still remotely upset about this phone call thing. he comes in and starts hitting me with a plastic whip (which eventually broke on my ass). pretty soon we are wrestling around and all is forgotten. we get into bed. i am taking a drink of water and he asks for it...AND POURS THE WHOLE THING ON ME.

now, when i get a glass of water, i make it good. no twists or anything, but there is plenty of ice. it was so cold it made me gasp for air and my eyes water. ok, but it was pretty funny. so, i'm sitting on the floor wrapped up in the comforter waiting for him to soak it up, when we start kissing. and he lays me down and starts kissing me. its been a while for that...i'd completely forgotten about his perfected oral skills. wow.

so, things get moving and the next thing you know, the clean clothes on his floor are dirty. and if they aren't dirty, they have become dirty from just watching the dirtiness. yeah. it was fabulous.

i didn't realize my knees hurt until about 2am. which is pretty impressive considering we left the bar at 1130. i was impressed anyway. and b was impressed cause i didn't stop using my knees til much closer to 3.

we need to do that again. it was fun. if this is what happens when you pour water on me, i'm up for that anytime. just next time, remind me to put a pillow under my face...cause that carpet is hurty.

i have an ow-ie

2006-01-18T11:41:00.000-08:00

but i'll save the pics for HNT tomorrow. and its a funny story. but it still hurts.

i'm busy at work and thanks for everyone's imput on the slightly whore-ish, stepmom-ish path that my life has decided to take. but the whore part definitely came out last night. and big time.

but, i have to get back to work.

however, i'll give you a preview - a broken plastic whip, ice cubes, water, clean clothes, shots, booze, n being a fuck-head, b being a great fuck, match on the nipple, boots in the bathtub, and lots of tongue.

a cup of nothingness with a side of worry and a ramikun of cuteness

2006-01-17T07:15:00.000-08:00

Hmmm. Where to begin?

This weekend wasn't that exciting. My parents came to town on Saturday night. I have been hanging out with B quite a bit. This worries me.

I have absolutely no problem getting involved in people's lives. I'll meet your family, i'll dogsit your dog. But, b has kids. two of them. two fabulous kids. so, not only am i seeing b, i'm also seeing his kids. this is what makes me nervous. whatever this may be or become or not become, i have babysat his children.

maybe i'm worrying for nothing. I'm sure i am.

but i see things changing in me. two out of the three weekend nights this week i stayed home. to watch care bears. is this a problem? there was one fantabulously drunk night however. but, yeah. i mean it...how can you resist this face?

the sex is still unbelievable. it has only gotten better - which is the complete opposite of what usually happens. usually its a lot of effort in the beginning and things die out until i just lay there and finally i'm ready to go and things are all done. thanks for coming (ha!) and have a nice night.

i could deal with this for a while. but the lack of sleep is starting to get to me. i don't care about going to bed at 230. but then we can't wake up at 5 am for more. we need to pick one time or another. not both. ok, maybe both 2 nights a week. thats all. thats my limit.

sucked in

2006-01-12T10:11:00.000-08:00

yup.

i've officially entered the vortex/black hole of those who have children. Thats right, i've been sucked in...

last night. i get done with work and stop by new b's (from now on i'm just going to refer to him as b since old b is retarded and stupid and will forever be referred as the crazy one). b lives about a mile from my office so i thought, what the heck. i'll stop in and say hi.

yeah, i didn't leave. we all played and b and i made dinner (?) and ate then the youngest (two-ish) went to bed and eventually the oldest (4) went to bed and b and i started watching a movie in his room before i was going to head home. its nice to have a little alone time. (listen, i sound like a parent already)

at some point during the movie, the youngest wakes up and starts screaming. b goes in there and comes back and tells me she wants me. thats right. she woke up screaming my name. now, this isn't the first time this has happened, but it is usually a guy and much closer to my age...

she went back to bed and pretty soon the movie was forgotten. but this sex was different. it was like there was much more feeling there. its kinda scary. yeah. but it was still fabulous. not mind blowing, headboard rattling, earth shattering, scratch marks and some mysterious bruise sex, but it was nice. almost gentle?

anyway. as if that wasn't bad enough, to reinterate the fact i have been sucked in, i (hate to admit this cause it makes me a loser and i am not living up to my self-inflicted name) i (whisper) gave up my lunch break to watch the kids for an hour at 10 so b could go to meet with a lawyer to start the finalization of his divorce.

HE'S NOT DIVORCED YET!

having never dated anyone who was previously married, this seemingly obvious question somehow or other slipped my mind. well, i guess its too late now.

i'll write you from the black hole i now call my life.

thats right. i apparently have two (great) kids and a husband and we cook together and they call out 'slutbag' when they wake up with bad dreams.

damn b.

AND......onto wednesday advice bitchslap (a day late...maybe i'll publish hnt tomorrow)

Bob wrote to me...
I was just wondering how you get to have a threesome. I want to have one but my girlfriend doesn't.

As we can see, bob is a man of many words. its a wonder he can't woo anyone into the sack with him...

Bob. don't have a threesome with your girlfriend. i think it would be bad. i could never imagine having one with my sig. other. i would always wonder if she was better.

my threesome occured with two of my best friends ever. d and i had always made out and like i said in the post, i knew it would be with her. her and i were and now more than ever as close as two people could get. if one of the girls is embarrassed to get changed in front of others, forget the threesome.

d and i are both very open people and that definitely played a role in this.

my suggestion is to wait until you aren't with your girlfriend (don't break up with her because of this) and discuss it with two of your friends. two cool friends...who you have seen changing clothes and taking body shots off one another.

other than that my friend...balls to the wall.

i know there are guys out there with advice. and i'm asking for some help on this. and next week, i will tackle Jody's question, hopefully with some help. lets tag team that bitch

my head is hurting

2006-01-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

Wow. its been awhile! hmm? where to begin. Friday night. ok, afternoon. i started at a bar for two-fers and it never really ended. Drink, drink, drink. then, i went to bar/grill for some good ol' home style cookin. and, to the strip club.

now, i love strip clubs. i think they are fantastic. i can't remember a time when i wasn't having fun at a strip club. maybe its the boobs...maybe its the butts...maybe its the fantastically hot girls shaking their goodies in my face...but i think its great!

B bought me the lapdance of the century. Has anyone ever noticed that strippers skin is really soft? i just want to touch them all over! and over and again (its a song?)

i love lapdances. i know i shouldn't cause i'm a girl, but i think they are wonderful. and this girl was good. i have no idea how much he paid her, but she deserved more.

New Personal Rule for SB at Stripclubs: DON'T END UP WITH YOUR SHIRT OFF.

thats right kiddies...drunken sb + hot stripper = SB with a shirt off and people giving me money. whoops!

needless to say, when we got home there was some excellent sex going on. sweaty sex. hot and bothered i can't get things where they need to go fast enough sex.

Saturday night=nothing much happened.

Sunday night=good sex

Monday night=good sex

Last night=fabulous i want to do this again. and wake me up in 2 more hours for some more. and maybe again before i go to work. i know i have definitely found my personal stress releasor. sex.

what? your job sucks and you have put in 27 hours in 2 days. nothing a good deep dicken won't take care of.

last night i had a work meeting til 930...went to said bar and grill and was going to have a couple beers and be on my way (of course to b's house). then, work people showed up and started arguing with me. all i wanted was a ciggy and to finish my meal but no, they just kept on going!

then, as if my night wasn't fabulous enough, old b shows up. yeah. and i find out from his friend that he came into town last night (MOnday) to see if i was home so we could talk. but i wasn't home loser! thats right.

so, then the person inbetween me and old b left. so i was by myself. i had two choices. move by new b across the bar or slide over to old b. what did i do?

thats right...i moved to new b. and then we left. together. and my car stayed there.

is this a hint? do you think he will get it. figure it out fucker. what is your deal. i don't want to talk to you anymore because you are dumb and don't listen to what i say. if you did, you wouldn't want to talk about it anymore. i was mean. i told you i don't want to be with you. but then you are so thick-headed you ask n (new b and my friend) whats going on. he tells you to ask new b. new b tells you not to worry about it. old b says its affecting our relationship.

WTF? WHAT RELATIONSHIP? AM I MISSING SOMETIHNG HERE?

so yeah, if he didn't get it after last night...he never will.

the kiddies come over to new bs tonight. last night his son called to talk to him and asked if he could talk to me. he then asked if we could play later.

sure.

damn. i think i might have feelings for new b. this is bad. feelings are bad. but, they are the most minor feelings ever when i compare them to caleb. they are like a mosquito buzzing in my ear. whereas caleb is a damn elephant that continues jumping on my chest.

but, lets not go down that road again.

A Quickie

2006-01-09T13:00:00.000-08:00

Yup, thats right...this is a quick hello to all my favorite friends out there. i hope you had as wonderful weekend as i did with drunken sexual encounters and such. cause they are fun. admit it, we all love them.

But work is super psycho crazy right now and due to the fact i didn't get home last night until 430 and was at work by 715...i'm a little tired and crabby and way behind in what i need to have done in the next little bit.

so i'm sending out some smooches and a little lick, and ok, you know me; a mighty fine blowjob for those who'd enjoy. but y'all have my love and my licks and i will tell you some fine/hot/babealicious tales tomorrow.

love yas
later
sb

Some D.D....Keep it on the D.L.

2006-01-06T12:15:00.000-08:00

I'm driving home. Its much later than I wanted it to be. Everyone was sleeping by 8. But here it was, 11 and i'm trying to get where i need to go.

I walk in the door. You look at me with interst in your eyes. I know what is coming next, even though it shouldn't happen.

We are in your room. You start kissing me. I know in the back of my head we should stop but i know there is no way my body will let me stop.

You slowly slide my shirt off over my head. I pull yours off while running my hands over your hard body. Ahh, skin contact. I think this is my favorite part. You are now on top of me, placing your body pressure exactly where it needs to be. How can you know what feels so good? But god, you are good at making me feel good.

Pretty soon, your hand is in my pants. You look me in the eye and tell me how good i feel. Right now nothing feels as good as your fingers inside me, playing with all the right places. i push my body against you, silently asking for more.

My hand is struggling with your belt. Your pants need to be off. And they needed to be off about 5 minutes ago. Finally. Finally I can have you.

And have you i did. We get done...i look at the clock to go home - it 2:45. This turned out to be much more fun than i could have imagined.

And, i fell asleep. and woke up before the kids and snuck out. Into my own house. and my own bed.

Seems to me i should go out for drinks with friends more often...but keep the love of deep dickin on the down low...no one needs to know how easily i give in.

but yeah...thats about it, and it was spectacular. sorry about the lack of hnt post. but you just wait for next thursday. i'll have b take some pictures...it'll be great.

sorry i humped your thigh and missed hnt

2006-01-05T13:06:00.000-08:00

i'm horny. Thats all there is to it. i had some me time. and some more. and some more. and now i want some deep dickin' time. for me.

i guess i'm just going to have to give it up and stay over. but, the kids are there tonight. so no hanky panky from him. and lets just face it. there are no new prospects on the horizon. or past it for that matter. too small of a town. i might have to start drinking about 45 miles away. that should cure what ails me!

The cooch-a-rooni is going to dry up and fall off i'm afraid. what happend. i was going through such a wet spell, and now it is definitely dry. (get it!) well, not really. i'm glad i got psycho boy off my ass who by the way is STILL LEAVING NOTES FOR ME IN MY HOUSE!!

crazy man, crazy man, crazy man...

oh, and caleb and i have decided i'm going to visit in march/april. he wants me there for at least 2 weeks, but i said its gonna be more like one. but NO MORE TALKING ABOUT THAT. at least until march/april.

and i missed hnt. but i have a fabulous post. its just at home. hmm. should i publish it next week or late tonight or tomorrow...i have a really hard time that i have to put my garbage out on the same night i should be focusing on hnt. really, somethings got to give.

Can't we just do it?

2006-01-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

Seriously. i just want you to screw me. i don't want to spend the night. i just wanna get laid.

is that so much to ask?

when i call you and say i want to come over, don't ask me if i'm going to spend the night. that is up to you. if i can not physically drive afterword (again, up to you) i'll stay. otherwise, i'm going home.

Anyways....I received this email from 'angie'

Slutbag -
I was just wondering how you get what you want from guys. I go to the bar and no one even looks at me. I'm not ugly, but I feel people don't even see me in front of them. My friends (who aren't any prettier than I am) are the ones always getting numbers and drinks. What are some things I can practice to have guys notice me when I am out. Sometimes I just want a little action too!

Well Angie, you have encouraged me to start my Wednesday Slutbag Bitchslap. Anyone can feel free to email me any questions they may have and i will try and provide advice/answers/porn pictures (just kidding on that one) if i can. I might not get very many questions, but it should be fun.

First off, I don't abuse the fact that i can get things. i don't even really know if i can - i have never tried. I honestly think i have only had one guy buy me a drink. But, here's my advice for the bar scene.

Don't look like you are looking. Slap a smile on your face and act like you are having the time of your life. You make your own fun. Don't rely on someone else to give you your good time. Dance if you want to. I'm sure the friends you are speaking of are always having fun...always laughing. People are enticed by a person who is having a great time while others are just sitting there. you are in control of your evening and how good it will be.

Talk to people. Don't necessarily flirt, but talk to them. Talk to them like you met them last time. Say hi. If you are standing at the bar, say hi to the bartender and the guy next to you. Smile while you are doing this. then later, some other night, they will remember you and say hi. this is how you form a network...this is what also helps you have fun. you might not 'know' anyone at the bar, but you might 'know' everyone. What i mean is they don't have to be your best friends to be fun. That guy from last week might want to do the (god forbid) electric slide. you don't know his name, but you feel like you have something in common (even if it is the fact you said hi to him last week)

Don't fidget. nothing says you are uncomfortable like you playing with your hair or twisting your shirt in your fingers. if you aren't drinking, order a water with a lime. have something in your hand so you aren't playing with things.

Dress comfortably. I don't mean wear your sweats to the bar, but wear something you are comfortable in. if all your friends are wearing mini skirts, BE DIFFERENT. As a bartender it always cracked me up seeing a group of girls walking in and wearing the same outfit. I will never forget the night i got hit on the most and got the most numbers. All my friends wore skirts and boots. I wore black. all black. but it was a nice black booby shirt. and a fatty necklace. but, i looked different. and i felt good about looking different.

I personally say no when someone asks me if they can buy me a drink. I'll take a shot with you, but i don't want to have to spend 45 minutes of my evening justifying to myself that i was ok in acceptiong the drink and i think now i can stop talking to you. i have a hard time saying, yeah, ok, i gotta go meet my friends. if they have bought me a drink i feel obligated to talk to them. that sucks.

Don't pick your target too early. i have been so focused on 'the hot guy in the black shirt' that i totally missed this hottie trying to pick me up. damn. he was hot and had an accent too. my friends were like 'what the hell is wrong with you'. yeah, and it turned out the hot guy in teh black shirt had a girlfriend. but, accent man was already gone.

So, i hope this helps. Just know that your evening is in your hands. if your friends make you go somewhere you don't want to, and you sit there an pout, you are going to look like not very much fun. but when you are having fun, people think you are fun, and they will want to have fun with you.

NOw, i'm requesting your help on a couple of things...

so, now does anyone have any advice for me on the whole staying over thing? hmmm?

I read someones blog a while ago, and now i can't find it. (i know i've been lazy on all y'alls, but i'll catch up, i promise) she hated pete. i think that was his name. and she was dating a guy who couldn't get hard. and had just gotten a new job. and i don't remember anymore, but if you know her, let me know.

and, i'm going to update my blog links, so if you want to be linked, let me know and i'll fix it right up for ya!

if

I have confetti in my eye

2006-01-03T12:14:00.000-08:00

Yup, i'm officially done crying/moaning/groaning/harping/etc. about you know who. onto my new year! Yeah!

its been awhile. things were good here for NY. I went to the town where i used to live. definitely partied it up. lots of good things happened. ok, not good things, but lots of fun.

i drank too much (as did everyone i'm sure)
i heard people have sex in the bathroom
i made out with someone
i made out with another person
i got some guy's phone number (i may or may not have made out with him)
i ended up with more money walking out of the bar than i did walking in (still not sure how that happened!)
i looked fantastic on NYE (for sure...hot)

those are the good things...now, for the not so good
i drank too much
i heard people having sex in the bathroom
i ended up with a lot of beads
i had a shot of tequilla come out my nose and my friend tried to wipe it off with the lime
i couldn't be in the big boobs club (sorry, its not my fault!)
i got stuck and went in the ditch
my pants got all gross on the bottom from the bar
Caleb called me at midnight and told me HNY and he hopes we see each other lots more this year
i realized how much weight i have gained over the holidays.

yeah, thats about it for now. work sucks today. new b was excited to see me yesterday as i was to see him. weak.

this year is going to be different, i can feel it. nothin but good will come from 2006. thats right, everything will be perfect for everyone. its going to happen. i know it will. but in the meantime, get back to work cause i know you are all reading this at work!

Binge and Purge

2005-12-29T13:43:00.000-08:00

I'm done. i can't do the whole bulemic thing anymore. i'm just putting him out of my mind. which isn't working because i've talked to him 4 times since he's been home. damn. oh well, moving on.

and when did this blog get all sappy - i swear to god, this is my last love him/love him not post...from now on it will be balls to the wall and nuts to the butts. this is the last one, i swear.

Anon - just a quick question for you. If you were eating carrots, decided you didn't like them, made somewhat ignorant comments about them, would you go and eat some more?

Anonymous said...
I came back....yes I know. I am stupid and dumb. Sure men seem like they like you. You are pretty,right? Anyway If you have been proposed to 2x's maybe there really is something wrong with you. Keep feeling good about yourself because you need too. So many think of you as what you are. A dirty "cheap prostitue." Good for you having protected sex. I don't buy it. Condoms don't always work either.

and if you think i have low self esteem, i think you would be a better person if you tried to help me with that, instead of calling me names. it doesn't seem to be a very moral/good person type of thing to do. perhaps you should be supporting me and telling me i could be a better person if i did this or that. you make it sound as though i'm teetoring on the edge of the clif we call life, and i can guarentee, if i was, you would have pushed me over, thanks for your kindly support. love you too!

if you don't like me, leave...no one is forcing you to read this?! Please spread your antisex/fun propaganda somewhere people want to listen...like the george bush website, or...the i'm really bored and i'm going to read anything blog. just go...shoo.

anyways - someone commented that i probably couldn't be monogamous. oh, but i will surprise everyone here. i have always been monogamous. when i'm with someone, i'm with them. i dated my ex boyfriend for 3 years...and i was only with him. never even thought about being with someone else. when i'm in love, i'm in love.

speaking of (i know, i know) I found flights to hawaii for 695. could i take a week off of work and head out there? new b probably wouldn't be all that excited about it...but, he knows whats going on. i should go. i know i should. but this hooker is a little bit scared, ya know?

i'm afraid of it. its too good. it like when you see something so beautiful and you think your heart might burst because it can't handle that much beauty at one time. thats us. its too good. and then it hurts. it hurts because it is too much. maybe we were just too young. maybe we both had too much stuff going on. but we haven't tried it for almost 2 years now. have we grown up enough?

it should have been easy - we are perfect...always have been. but it wasn't. what will happen now. there are 3 possibilities, and both the good and the bad are gonna hurt.

#1 - i get out there and we realize we should both be friends. (this would be the easiest. but lets get realistic...its not going to happen. we had an hour long make-out sesh on tuesday night and i felt everything for you i always have...damn!)

#2 - i get out there and realize, this is perfect, and i'm moving to hawaii. but, then, 5 months down the road its not, an i have to move home. and i don't have my job anymore.

#3 - i get there, love you, you love me, but we still can't live together, can't get along. this is always what has happened. it should work, it just doesn't.

For all the people who were slightly confused by the blog-vomit post, i had a post prior to that in which i purged everything i have all over the keyboard and now dell is upset that i need to replace my keyboard...they say vomit isn't covered under by warrentee - and i say bollocks! but, you might need to read the kryptonite post to understand the vomit post and seqencially understand this one. sorry for the confusion.

yeah, i'm done. i'm done dwelling. back to doing what i do best, drinking, smoking, and cooking some nice prime-rib for anyone who wants some. come on over...just rsvp before 5:00 tonight. i'm more than happy to set an extra place!

i have blog-vomit in my hair

2005-12-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

whoa! apparently i needed to get that out. see what i mean, he is my kryptonite. and he feels the same way. we can't live without each other, but we can't live with each other. so...yeah. he knows what i do and how i do things. he thinks its 'fabulous' i'm doing what i want to. but, "he had to admit it hurt a lot to think of me with other people; but obviously he wouldn't want me to sit and wait for him and not be with other people...lets just change the subject"

i think i can't stop watching his mouth form words...the words that were said so often but still have the flock of butterflies to my stomach effect. i love you. i will always and forever love you. you're (insert name here) - how can i not love you. i have loved you since the day i met you and you helped me load boxes in exchange for some room in the cooler for your mr. freezes and a box of lucky charms. come with me. this has been long enough. just for a month. then we'll see. please.

no shit sherlock, that was the convo. and my whole heart is screaming...TELL HIM YES. TELL HIM YOU WILL GO. GO GO GO GO GO GOGO GO GO !!!! STUPID; GO! YOU HAVE A MAN YOU LOVE ASKING YOU TO MOVE TO HAWAII WITH HIM. WHILE HE SUPPORTS YOU UNTIL YOU FIND A JOB BECAUSE HE HAS A FANTASTIC JOB THERE DOING WHAT HE ABSOLUTELY LOVES. GO, BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE WILL NEVER COME BACK HERE TO LIVE. HIS WHOLE HEART, EXCEPT FOR YOU, IS NOW IN HAWAII. THAT IS WHERE HE BELONGS....GO!!

but my whole being was calmly telling me i have a good job, and my family, and a dog, an apt. responsibilities and i'm afraid we have done all of this before.

but, all of the stuff here seems pretty gray without him. Damn him and his tropical lushness.

i now feel like a raging blog-bulimic. thanks for holding my hair and rubbing my back while i vomited.

it felt good.

this beats.

Stupid Kryptonite Bastard Anonymous Hater

2005-12-28T08:32:00.000-08:00

Before i get started with this post, let me comment on anon's comment.

Anonymous said...
You should not be having sex with married men. Man you are such a slut (and proud because you have low self etsteem and think men actually care when all they want is to fuck you.) No one will ever want to marry you. Keep dreaming. In 2 years you will probably be sick with some STD and the only men who will want to fuck are gross. All you are is a free prostitue. So be proud. You could actually make some money. I want to say so many things about you being whore but you already know you are.You are truly gross. Man what a dirty dirty nasty "girl" you are. One day you will realize your life is a lie and you tell yourself your proud because you know your disgusting but want to come across as evolced and open.

Blah, blah, blah. I think i have gone over this with everyone here.

But to dispel any rumors that may occur, some men do care, and some don't. I usually know the ones who don't care right away. i try and assess if i care...and if i don't, then fine. sex is sex. i know sex is love and all that when you are in love. but in the meantime, sex is sex. you don't see people getting married to drive each other's cars. i know it seems far fetched, but i had a friend who would not let anyone - no matter who - drive his car. His wife drove it to the church on their wedding. that was the only time. so, yeah. its just a car...its just sex. and people do care. the ones who don't ever leave my house, apparently care. They certainly aren't staying there waiting for me to come home so i can cook for them! i have had serious boyfriends. i have been proposed to twice. so, apparently someone likes me.

I am very careful about using protection...blah blah blah. if you don't, you are just being dumb.

and i think the words 'free prostitute' used together is an oxymoron. yes, according to the dictionary, a prostitute is:
1. One who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts.
2. One who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose.

you could call me a reduced price prostitute...or cheap prostitute - except that i'm not making any money. perhaps you should have called me a tawdry sex fiend with no morals or values...i could accept that one. just get your facts straight before you comment anonymously huh?

Now that we have all had our PBS special on safe sex and our reading rainbow vocabulary lession, back to my evening last night.

DAMN B. i want him. want him want him want him. have never stopped wanting him. he lives in Hawaii. (just to interject i feel a slight venting paragraph coming on...feel free to skip to the next paragraph). damn him and his tropical paradise. know you. have known you forever. lived 2 hours away...in college...dumb. tried. worked...kinda. you left for australia. came back. not happening. see you again. moving to town. switching schools. holy crap. try it. love it. not working, why? it should work. both too lazy. it should be easier. not easier. try again. good, its working. things are good. i go to australia. stupid. best and worst decision. came home. tried. was good again. really good. like forever good. nope, not working. lazy. too much going on. see you off and on. decide we can't see each other at all anymore - too hard. want it too much. start dating again. ok, this is it. it is good. really good. basically living together for a while. love it. love you. love this. YOU MOVE TO FRICKEN HAWAII. now what? i know you had to go. i told you to go. you still thank me for that. i still kick me for that. stupid. you are happy. thats all. i know you are happy, but i'm done. never again. haven't seen you in a year and a half...good. then, last night. and the dance starts all over again. but you are happy. and because of that, i am warm. you told me to come visit. will pay. damn. am i just torturing myself? yeah. its been 8 years of torture. i want to hate you. i still love you. you want me to move. none of this is going to happen...is it? i can't. not then, not now, probably not ever. damn you. you know i love you.

shit - i'm out

Married Man Mantra

2005-12-27T07:25:00.000-08:00

I know this post is definitely going to win me some friends, but the references have been made and I think its high time the true story comes out.

By the way. hope all of you had a fabuloso 'holiday' time. If not, New Years is coming up and i'm sure you are all the people i think you to be, and will have the opportunity to drink enough alcohol to kill a small country.

Ahh, the married man. This is something i never thought i would have done, or been doing...however you want to look at it. Where to begin?

1980, my parents in the back of a Chevy...it was steamy...ok, fast forward.

so, S (the married man) and i worked togther for a long time. almost 3 years. and we worked at a service industry (a bar), so that meant lots of time to get to know each other.

I first started working there and we became friends. He worked at a country club as a golf pro about 45 minutes from our town and got me a job as bev cart girl. we would ride together to work lots and he taught me how to golf. life was good. we got along great!

at this time he was with his girlfriend 'l'. (she later became his wife). 'l' and s had an open relationship...they always have. 'l' wasn't a very sexual person but s is a crazy sex maniac. l has always told him he could do what he needed to do as long as she never heard about it. (they lived in seperate towns).

blah blah blah...we became really good friends - this is who called me 5 minutes after my job interview to ask me how it went. this is who drove 2 hours to come and look at apartments with me. yeah, good friends.

then, about 5 months before i stopped working there, we all of a sudden realized we both were jonesin for each other. blah blah blah...lots of sex. i realized we possibly had feelings involved in this sexual relationship - that maybe it wasn't just a sexual relationship. it needed to stop.

then, he got engaged. and i told myself it should stop. but it didn't. and they got married. and it did stop.

until last weekend.

so, that it...he's married. i talk to him much less than we ever have since we became friends. but thats ok, cause he's married. and thats what is most important. i know their relationship isn't perfect...far from it. but i know i won't help the situation. so, i'm staying out of it. as much as i can

end of that story. if anyone has any questions, let me know, and i'll answer them.

man, nothing dries up my coocher like my family. there was very few sexual thoughts on my mind this weekend. although i did have another nooner before i left town with b. it was good. i had a massive headache. i thought the nooner would help...instead it caused all my blood to rush to other places and came back pounding.

i had to take a nap.

i drove home. had some christmas...oh, made out with e.b. on friday night. it was fun. he was a year older than me in high school - lots of mutual flirting in hs...saw him at the bar on friday. it was funny, i just stopped in for a minute cause my mamama wanted me home (she loves me so much!). i said hi and that i had to go and eb was all "i'll walk you to your car."

uhh, ok, its right here - four parking spots away...in a town of 1300, but sure.

yeah, then we made out. it was fun. and i went home cause lets face it. its too small of a town to be doin the hibbety-dibbety without everyone knowing.

and i got into town late last night. so, no new b.

oh, but i am seeing caleb tonight. i'm using his name because nothing about him gets shortened. and he lives in hawaii. oh shit. if any of you know him, fuck him cause he's really frickin good!

This just opens a whole new can of worms. the one of you that knows me, knows caleb is my kryptonite. he is a god. god. if i had to pick one person that i want to marry and i was being forced to get married right now,this is him. love him. have always loved him, will always love him. damn

Hmmm? Do we want the caleb story now? do i have the strength for this?

no, not now. i'll let you know after tonight cause now i'm getting wet thinking about what may/may not happen.

damn. can i have a nooner today to get my mind off this? no, i'm going to save myself for (potentially) caleb.

damn, i'm weak.

Slutbag's Wish List

2005-12-22T10:10:00.000-08:00

So i know i have some lovers out there and i'd like to thank you all for your support and love and good clit licking (i'm assuming). Just for you folks who are wondering what I would like (and you know you are getting down to the wire) I have included a list of some things on my list.

1. a new phone. mine has been drunk booty call dropped way too many times. any phone will do, as long as its not the one i currently own.

2. This one might be a little tougher. Thats right, i want Ashlee Simpson. And i don't want her blonde cause that just is too much like Jessica and it creeps me out cause i think of them and their blonde hair and their dad and ewww....so, yes. i want Ashlee with dark hair. on a platter. with whipped cream.

3. The ove glove - i know...its lame, but i want one.

4. This is my vacation place in mexico. i want it. if i get it, anyone can come visit me there whenever they want. anyone. so, those richies out there, just think...by purchasing me this, things could get crazy.

5. One of these...cause they are cute. and i can't afford them myself. ok, i can afford them i just choose to not spend $300 on a purse. but you can. it would be fun!

6. A new vehicle. and i'm not being snotty just cause someone is buying it for me. a jeep is a very upper-working-class-persons vehicle. i could have asked for a lexus or something.

7. These are the boots i want. and i wanted them for a long time. i think it is time someone bought them for me. cause i want them. and i was really really good this year.

8. I need a new one of these...this one looks good

9. Now i'm just getting selfish. i don't need a 279.00 tent. but i want one. and if i want one, i should have one. but i guess i don't need it til the summer, so this one can wait.

Watchin' These Bimbos Walking Like Ho's!

2005-12-20T10:46:00.000-08:00

You can have those bimbos...i'll keep my women like Flo-Jo.

Yeah. so, i have some haters. Well, what would one expect. One can only have so many lovers before the haters start arriving. Well, come on ride the train...its a choo-choo train.

Ok, i'm going to lay it out for everyone out there. You are more than entitled to your opinion. In fact, i will respect that it is your opinion. You can post whatever you want, and i'm not going to delete anything (unless you reveal my super hero identity). But, please, in all fairness to yourself, respect your opinion enough to own up to it.

I admit what i do isn't necessarily the most moral all the time. I admit there are things i probably shouldn't have done in life. I can't change those...no regrests though. But you know what...i like me. I like who i am. I think i turned out wonderfully (except for the desire for deep dick, but that can't be helped).

Anonymous said...
Wow, you have such low self esteem girl. Damn!

Thank you very much anonymous...you are absolutely brilliant. have you been considered for the nobel prize lately? I should get working on that to make sure you get the recognition you so rightly deserve.

Buck up buttercup and let me know who you are. come on, it won't hurt - i promise.

And i would like to thank everyone who stood up for me. thank you. yournamehere - you are wonderful. check out his post. i'm not self-centered enough to think its all about me, but i feel i am a little piece of that puzzle, thank you.

and to blonde and todd - thank you too

so, you can say anything you want...thats fine. and if you don't like what i do, then dont read my blog.

Here's a little background on who i am for the lovers and haters...
Grew up in a very rural area. loved my parents much, still do. two younger brothers...love them too. small towns. everyone knew everything. lost my virginity at 17 to a boyfriend i'd been with for 2 years. it was a good (1st) experience. senior year - new boyfriend, new sex. not bad...president of student council, captain of cross country, captain of danceline, captain of track, state relay team in track, 2nd place state danceline, a.c.t nazi - i knew i could do better, kept taking it...going to a public school, what difference did it make? - i don't know...just had to do better. scholarships to run all over the frickin place. did not want to run anymore. tired of being perfect for everyone. couldn't do it. i was good, but i wasn't the best. drove me absolutely nuts. ran way too much in hs. 4 miles every morning then practices in afternoon. damn b. 3.95 gpa. i was smart. i was president of key club. i was president of ffa. i did everything. i was in the motor club, yearbook, spanish club. damn. (breathe) i go to college. finally, i am only living up to my expectations. i was good. i was on the deans list. i finally started to have fun with myself. i didn't have to be perfect. i remember my first sex at college. it was fun. finally sex was fun...this is what its supposed to be like. we were good booty call friends. i had been in relationships forever and definitely didn't want one. he was fine with that. i was fine with that, it was perfect. and actually, he, to this day, remains one of my best guy friends. dated some. went to australia for a year. perfect anonymity. loved it. dated a guy there for the whole time. only one random screw. everyone else was screwing mad crazy like cause no one would find out. not me. came home. things were great. loved life. i've always loved life. i'm the person who's like...what? drive 8 hours to go to the canada - sure! lets go! yeah. i'm fun. people say i'm fun. i have fun. love myself. love who i am. am going places. work at a 40.000/year job right out of college, doing what i love. in process of eventually buying a house. love it. love snow, love sun, love it all. what? you want more. i'm emotionally purged now.

the way i see it, i've impressed who i need to impress. i am me. and if you don't like it, then you don't have to be my friend.

the blog wasn't a way to have all my endeavors known. it was more of a way for me to vent. i can't tell my friend k that i had a threesome...she would never approve. but you...you don't know me...and if you don't approve, then i'm not out one of my best friends.

i am extremely happy with where i'm at in life. eventually i would like to get married and have a family...but i don't want to wake up when i'm 30 and regret anything. i have none now, and i hope i have none then...and i can be as happy as i am now.

and the thing i hold on to...at least i am honest with myself. i'm not trying to kid myself into thinking i am pure and dainty and if i met you out, i would never let you ride that presumption train...i'm not. and if you stuck around long enough you would figure it out anyway. there is no point in lying.

i am who i am...and if you don't like it, don't read me. but all i can say...don't judge me without knowing all the facts. i am happy - are you?

and some famous last words by Kansas:
Close my eyes
Only for a moment, then the moment's gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind
All they are is dust in the wind
Same old songJust a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do
Crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind, ohh
Now, don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind

if you think about it...we're pretty insignificant...and what i'm doing is even less so. i'm not stealing, i'm not selling drugs to my kiddies, i'm not kidnapping and having my way with minors...i'm engaging in adult consensual sex. so sue me.

1 boy + 1 Slutbag + 1 former Slutbag = Time for a Threesome

2005-12-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

Thats right kiddies...it happened, and it was spectacular.

What can i say - i knew this would happen eventually, it was just a matter of when. And when apparently was meant to be Friday night.

I'm doing my thing on friday, working the crowd, i rode with 's' to get where we were going and knew i would be staying at 'd's house. 's' is all i'm getting a hotel room cause 'wifey' wont like me staying at 'd's (d is a girl by the way)...i tell him i think he is being stupid but whatever he wants to do.

Some background info here. S is in fact married. Prior to him getting married we had an ongoing screw session for about 5 months. i know d and him at some point had also hooked up. nothing like crossing paths! d and i have been best friends for what feel like forever. we honestly were as close as two people could possibly be when we lived in the same town.

The night is over and s is supposed to give d and i a ride home - to d's house. we grab some beer and head to s's hotel room. there was definitely some tension - sexual tension that is.

i jump in the shower. i get out and decide that i'm going to lay in bed cause lets face it, i was actually tired. pretty soon s got in and d decided she didn't want to just sit there, so she jumped in too.

now at this point, it could have gone either way. D an i have been in this position before with our friend b. there was definitely sexual tension that time. but, it was not meant to be. (with b).

but, it seemed to go all our ways. d and i are both lying next to s. i see him lean over to kiss d. then, he leans over to kiss me. we continue kissing like this for a few more minutes, and d and i lean over to kiss each other.

I was only slightly nervous as the reality of what was going to occur hit me. i knew this is what i wanted, my body was telling me so as i was as wet as i have ever been.

d and i know s has wanted this for a long time. s and i have talked about it before, and i finally seemed as though things would work out in his favor. i knew i had not found another girl i could see myself doing this with (ok, there was one, but she moved to san diago - bitch) other than d so i was ready.

d and i in our lives together had been kissing for some time, but it never went any further than that. leaning over s and feeling her lips on mine with s rubbing both of us was pretty hot. i knew i was in for some fun. i pulled away, s looked at d and started smiling, and the next thing i know we are all sitting there grinning.

s then pulls me down and starts licking me. one thing i can say about s is he has his oral skills under control. i feel d biting my nipples which are as hard as they could possibly be. s is doing his job and d is doing her job and i am getting my job done when i feel d buck against me. s had decided to play with her too. i grew bold and began to touch her breast as our kisses deepened.

the next thing i know, d is down on my licking and sucking like i have never felt before. i don't know if she was just that good, or if it was the thought of it being d down there that did it. waves of passion were flowing through my body. i come with a huge orgasm that i'm sure drenched d's face (sorry d). then, i'm down on d.

this is a totally new experience for me but it turned me on much more than i ever thought it would. i can say i enjoyed myself.

So, the night wears on, d and i are done. we are having a hard time moving. things are not working the way they should. so, s brings her home. i'm laying in bed in disbelief of what i have just done. sleep came gently and easily.

s wakes me up a few hours later as d and i (whoops) got into things with each other so much, we didn't even notice that he never finished. (yeah, big whoops). so, things then went well with us. and again in the morning before leaving the hotel.

i go to d's to pick up my stuff, run in, give her a kiss, and s and i are on our way...back to the land of this slutbag in a morally perfect society. my job is eventually to corrupt them all...perfect bastards! and i'm well on my way. friday night - a threesome with a married man and not his wife....is that bad?

so, nothing i'm going to write following that is going to even come close. but, sat night i went out (not in my town) and made out with random really hot guy in the bathroom. then, i left.

last night (sun). new b and i finally got to see each other. i'm remotely scared that i think i may have missed him. but then end of the evening was me filled with some good penis. and then this morning.

so, all in all, this weekend was very sucessful for a slutbag like me. and, d...if you are ever looking, let me know!

and yeah, the next time i see you, we are taking some pictures. i'm tired of seeing my ass on this computer...

Balls to the Wall Bitches

2005-12-16T06:42:00.000-08:00

so, old b has finally left my house. yeah. can i hear a hip, hip, hooray!

i don't think its possible for me to be anymore tired right now. this week has included too much drama, booze, and sex. Ha ha, just kidding. you could never have too much sex in a week!

so, for the cap'n i am posting this pict. it is in honor of hnt which obviously was yesterday but everyday of nekkid-ness is a celebration for me. so, here ya go. i'm not going to put this as my profile pic, cause lets face it...she's way hotter than i am. also, sorry about the crudeness of the picture - if there wasn't a timer on my camera, this never would have happened. sorry to the one person on here who knows me...that you have to see this. perhaps you could take some pictures of me this weekend so i don't have this ghetto-riffic one posted. and for some reason it looks like i may have saddlebags...i don't.

also, here is a picture of what happens when you dry hump too much. i just noticed the pants that i am wearing to work are wearing out in the crotch. and they aren't even old?! What the hell?

So, onto my sex in a small town last night...yeah, there wasn't any. And you are not going to believe why

I FELL ASLEEP. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? HOW DO I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY FOR A GOOD (AND I MEAN GOOD) DEEP DICKIN' AND I FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH?

Sorry about the yelling. it just couldn't be helped. maybe the nooner tired me out. maybe it was the fact i had to deal with an impounded car. (yeah bitches...NO ONE is getting christmas presents now) maybe it was because i worked until 645 last night. who knows?

yeah. new b had his kids (? i know. he's 26, only 1 year and 3 months older than me. his ex has them every week basically and he gets them on the weekends...two of them. two and four. i know i know i know) so, i went to bar/restaurant thinking the guys would be there for old b's birthday

nope. so that was kinda nice. i was planning on heading to new b's about 1030 as his kids would be in bed. ( i just don't want to be that girl) i'm sitting at bar/restaurant and realize they are using level vodka as rail?!? what?!

so of course i order a dirty martini (extra dirty) caues this is an opportunity you can't pass up. and lets face it, i like it dirty. i get to new b's house at 11...and the kids are still up.

next thing i knew, Keagan and i are sleeping on the couch (the 4 year old) and new b is in the little ones (didn't catch her name - damn martini makes my ears not work)

new b wakes me up and tells me to go to bed. ok. this morning the alarm goes off and i get up to go home and get ready for work.

now, here comes the issue i have. i have no problem that he has kids. i love kids. it doesn't bother me at all. but, i feel slightly mother/wifey after last night. i don't think this vibes with the deep dickin vibe i have been feeling. i know he has his kids this weekend and thats fine, i have things going on both nights (ha ha ha) but...

i don't want to be the slutty bitch and be all like "no, i don't want to come over when your kids are there" but if the shoe was on the other foot, i don't think i'd just want random people sleeping at my baby daddy's house...hmm?

oh, forget it. i'll just go get some sex and everything will clear up for me...i know the kids are eating lunch with auntie...perfect....

Happy Birthday

2005-12-15T12:50:00.000-08:00

yeah, its old b's birthday...whoops! now i feel kinda bad...

Stupid ticketing bastards...i should have left my car there. yeah, cause that would have showed you.

A cup of weird happenings minus a lack of transportation plus a lunch break equals my day so far

2005-12-15T11:17:00.000-08:00

thats right, i just got some. and now i'm sitting at my desk trying not to grin. ok, lets face it, its an all out cheeser.

I love nooners, i love nooners. (in that annoying sing-song voice)

Give me an N! Give me an O! Give me another O! (get it...i love the o's)

ok, you get the point. although today/last night have been by far the weirdest 24 hours ever, it all came to a head today at lunch (came to a head! i crack myself up!)

hmm...where to begin.

The setting: my office

The action (ha!): me not doing work i should be doing.

so, yeah. i told you about the sexcapade that occured on tuesday night. and how old b had slept at my house. i get to work in the morning...and start to feel sick. i end up going home at about 1030 (i think it was from sex frustration). i slept til about 1200 and new b and i went to eat. at about 2 i go back to work and work til the end of the day.

then, i'm going home to take a shower cause lets face it, i wanted to take one; and i drive by my house and old b is there! so, i call new b and ask what he's doing. oh, c and i are sitting at a bar. ok, i'm on my way.

yup, its twofers - as in 2 for ones. 6 vodka tonics later we get a call that c and his cousin pulled into a lake landing and got stuck. son of a ....

so, new b and i finish our drinks and realize we have a trailor on his truck.

we can just drop it off at my house i volunteer...no such luck cause old b is STILL THERE.

finally, we get out there. they drive a beretta. yeah, they were stuck. i tell new b not to drive any further down as his truck is only 2 wheel drive. next thing i know, he's on the lake trying to get up speed to get back to the road.

~i never said he was the brightest bulb...although, he is actually smart. and he's getting a new truck as we speak.

so, we finally (with the help of about 6 other people) get new b's truck off the lake and get c's cousins car on the road. lets go to the bar/restaurant...ok

so, i decided i would just grab some clothes out of my car (still at the bar) since i was soaking wet. a couple more drinks and we decide we are going bowling.

off to the bowling alley. lots of drinks and 2 games later, we decide to head back to the restaurant/bar. on the way, we see a cop (a cop) in the ditch...ha ha.

and we close down the bar/restaurant. at this point i am just really tired and want to go home. new b was rather intoxicated and obviously not going to do me any good, so i dropped him off at home.

i get home, have some 'me' time, and sleep like a baby.

i get up, go to pick up new b so he can bring me to my car so i can go to work...drive by the bar and what the???

quick, left blinker on cause i swear to god my car doesn't look like its there. another left blinker and then one more and i am staring at the spot where i know i parked my car. shit

so i call new b and tell him my car got towed. yeah right he says. fine, i'll be at your house in 4 minutes. you have to drop me off at work (after i go back home and change clothes).

yup, drove around the block and no car. mother of christ...how do i live in a town with 100,000 people and never ever have my car towed and now i live in this little tiny rinky-dink town and get towed?

so, he dropped me off at work and i'm getting to work and he calls and asks for my license so he can pick up my car. fine

so, my car is back and all is well. i owe new b $114.19 but i think i can work that off eventually.

yeah. then the nooner came. and it made the missing car so much better. its almost funny now!

Would you like a to-go box? NO THANKS, MINES FULL!

2005-12-14T13:03:00.000-08:00

Yup, it happened. and it was awesome. and it was awesome. oh, and there was one more time. it was awesome.

i went to the bar/restaurant for the gangs night out (yes, old b was there). we all sat and drank and had some merries. 'J' (old bs roommate/friend) and i sat next to each other and talked the whole time. i don't think old b was very impressed. j and i get along really well and have since we met. we are pretty much the same person except i have better boobs. (although his are really nice) well, sitting there drinking and talking was great. i got a whole bunch of shit off my chest about old b and he knew exactly where i was coming from. he said he had tried to tell him to back the hell off but he just wouldn't listen. meanwhile, d and i are taking mad amounts of rumplmintz cause lets face it, its pretty frickin good. then new b calls about 1200 and lets me know he's on his way home.

ok, i'll meet you at your house.

j and i at this point are discussing this endeavor and he knows i'm going to someones house. i have told him this. he is trying to get me to tell him where i am going. i refused. its one thing for him to know i'm a big fat slut (who isn't big or fat) but its another story all together for him to know who i'm slutting on/in/over/above. yeah, when the phone rang, it gave it all away.

Fuckin right! he says. thanks. high five on pickin a good one. yeah, thanks... so i know i have j's approval.

the only thing is, i know old b is just going to come to my house. i told j he should tell old b he is pretty drunk and he'll follow him home.

no such luck. i started my mobile and everyone elses too. then, new b calls and says there was an accident down the road so if i was going to leave with this much booze in my system, i should go now.

~sidenote. i'm not a drinker and driver. however, at this point i had no choice. the other option was old b would have driven me home. and sat there. and talked. and would get a rubby dubby gay on me. so, driving i was.

i made my break. i literally left everyone standing there while i left. i got to new b's house safely. thank god. he was more than excited to see me i do have to admit.

i'm drunk. i now realize the full effects of the 4 shots of rumplemintz and 2 tequilla and 6 beers (little ones )has on a person. especially when that person is me. ok. i am drunk but i know you are all thinking i am on my way to vomitting. i have the tolerance of a college football player. i have been a drinker since highschool and nothing has changed. so, to a normal person, they would just see me as having a good buzz.

we decide we are going to watch a movie - the 40 year old virgin. i'm not really sure at what point we stopped watching the movie, but i am aware of about 6 minutes total that i saw it.

and let me tell you, it was fantastic. there was bumping and grinding and the occassional teeth gnash. but, i know we both needed that. his condom fit wonderfully - don't know what kind it was. and the penis fit wonderfully - it was a penis brand penis. and it was all wonderful. the, my phone rings.

ok, i think actually my phone rang before the sex. guess who? old b - SHOCKER!

i of course being the mature person that i was who had someones tongue in places that left me unable to talk, didn't answer the phone.

then, off to sleep as the movie was over and stick a fork in me, i was done.

until about 330. cause apparently that is the time to wake up and have fantastic still-night-almost-morning sex. we didn't even pretend we were going to watch a movie at this point.

then, my alarm goes off cause its 645 and to work i need to go. but then my phone rings - and i know you are all smart readers, if not slightly perverted, and i know you can guess who it was???

RIGHT. FUCKIN HELL. I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT ANSWERING MY PHONE FOR SOME REASON OR ANOTHER. PICK WHICH EVER ONE YOU WANT AND STOP CALLING ME DURING MY GIFT BOX WRAPPING TIME. DAMN B!

so, then we do it again. and i realize its 730. and i work at 8. shit. gotta go.

i get home, hurry up and change clothes, try and brush the sex out of my hair, and as i'm leaving, i look around. wait a second...

HE SLEPT HERE! THATS RIGHT, I FOUND HIS NOTE. HE UNLOCKED MY HOUSE AND SLEPT HERE. WITH OUT ME. I DON'T THINK I CAN SHOW I'M YELLING THIS ANYMORE!!!

the note says...morning beautiful (do you think he is on the same page as me?)
i went to work from 1 am til 2am and then again this morning at 5 am. hope you had a good night.

what am i supposed to say to that? then, he called again when new b and i were eating lunch. new b thinks this is hilarious. i on the other hand, not so much.

i called j and left him a message describing the sleepover that occurred at my house without me. i haven't heard back from him yet. but it should be interesting.

yeah, i'm seeing new b tonight. again. and hopefuly one more time for flavor. cause its great. and right now, i'm definitely enjoying it. and what else is there to do...i mean really.

on a side, not so sexual note, i guess i am destined to be catwoman...

Your results:
You are Catwoman

Catwoman		90%
Wonder Woman		87%
The Flash		85%
Supergirl		82%
Superman		75%
Iron Man		70%
Robin		62%
Green Lantern		55%
Spider-Man		45%
Hulk		40%
Batman		25%

You have had a tough childhood,
you know how to be a thief and exploit others
but you stand up for society's cast-offs.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

i'll just do him if the box stays empty

2005-12-13T14:27:00.000-08:00

and the box is still empty

2005-12-13T14:03:00.000-08:00

yeah...no nooner

dammit!

here's a situation. new b wants to do something wed night. before that convo, old b asked me to do something wed night and i told him i thought i would be working late. damn these boys. i obviously want to do (something) new b...but old b has a key to my house.

i know i know - stupid. but he would let my dog out before we started hooking up so therefore the key. how do i get it back? he feels comfortable just letting himself in and i can't hardly lock the chain and climb out. i tried it. its a bitch getting back in.

anyway. old b i'm guessing will just stop by my house. and then be pissed when i'm not there.

i can't believe i missed a nooner opp. who needs food when there is potentially sex on the table. damn things we need to live. now i'm going to have to go home and have some personal time. hmm - tonight is 'the gangs' night out. (that includes old b but not new b) maybe i could get liquored up and head over to new b's house. thats an idea! and a brilliant one at that!

A Lack of Necessities

2005-12-13T08:22:00.000-08:00

How do you know i'm coming over, and not have any condoms?! Monday night you came to my house and it was great. We made out, had some nice dry humping, a little petting here and there - But tonight when i come to your house?! Not only was there a little petting last night, i finished you off! And i know what everyone is going to say - blow job isn't getting laid. I know that. but a blowjob has to be better than me saying ok, thanks for the nice boob grab, check ya later. Right?

Does anyone else have an opinion on this? Monday night i stay up with you til 6 in the morning - and i have to work at 8. I talk to you a couple times throughout the day. You tell me to give you a call later that night.

I do my thing, take some 'me' time since you stayed on Monday night, there was no 'me' time and i definitely needed some. The funny thing is - the more you need the 'me' time, the less time it lasts. But this was well needed, and might i say, you were in my thoughts. I may have to admit, i even let out a moan.

Obviously, by the time i got around to calling you, i was ready to go. You come to my house at 11:30 - i was sleeping on the couch. I say to you, lets go to your house and watch a movie. ITS 1130 PEOPLE...OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT GOING OVER THERE TO WATCH A MOVIE!

But, i guess you thought we were. I'm there, you are there, there is tongue action there. Next thing i know, my pants are off and my ass is squeaking on your leather couch. We're moaning, i'm groaning...there's sucking - and after about 12 seconds of that (ok, really like 30 minutes but i was ready in about 12 sec) we both stop breathing so heavy and you go to get a condom.

~Just to interject - you have the longest dick i have ever seen. i'm rather excited to have that somewhere inside me. For this reason, i didn't bring condoms as i was afraid that my supply at home wouldn't fit you. I have the theory that i can provide for you as long as you are average. the second you become not average - either way - you need to supply your own goods. And if you are not average in the not as pleasant way, you need to come with a warning label telling me i will be wasting my time trying to get a piece of ass from you cause the second i get a feel, i'm going to be instantly disappointed, but at that point want to get my rocks off bad enough that i'm going to do it with you. and the moment you are inside me, i'm going to be thinking 'i added another one to my list for this?' unless, and i do have an unless here...you are really good. i've had a few of them who definitely knew what they were doing. so, thats why i didn't bring any~

And I can hear you fuckin around in where ever it is you are at right now. and i'm laying on your couch. waiting. i know what coming...NOTHING! i knew you couldn't find what you were looking for...and i definitely appreciate the fact that when you came back, you were willing to take care of me. i enjoyed it. i do have to give you props on your clit licking techniques. i was impressed. i think i would like to do it again sometime.

But, this lack of condom night has given me second thoughts. do i really want to do this? what about 'b' from before. i should probably make sure he understands we aren't doing the hibity-dibity anymore. i can pretend he knows - but i know he doesn't as he called me last night to see what i was doing this week. uh, not you anymore.

and it wasn't even good. you tried way too hard. sometimes i just wanted you to rip my clothes off and have your way with me on my kitchen table. don't be all romantico and seductive all the time. if i wanted a romance novel, i'd read penthouse letters, i mean seriously!

yup, 'b' is definitely out and 'new b' is in. does someone want to let him know that? i certainly don't. maybe i should just send him a picture of me screwing 'new b'...think he'll get it? wait, i haven't even screwed new b yet...what if it isn't good.

this is too small of a town to be screwing everyone. i hang out at a certain bar/restaurant. b goes there. new b's sister is the bartender. this is fucked up. the more i think about it, the more i just need to get away. damn this full time job shit. doesn't anyone just want to have some fun sex anymore, does it always have to lead to something?

i'm sorry if i don't want my pussy to dry up and fall off/out. i think it needs as much exercise as everything else (ok, who am i kidding, i walk from my car to the house and smoke copious amounts of cigarettes, but i should not ignore the vagina). Damn the man. no, screw you...

Ok, the rant has caused me to call 'new b' for a nooner. he is more than happy to meet me. he said he'd be prepared.

shit, this opens a whole new can of worms. should the first time you have sex with someone be not rushed? is it bad if you may be watching the clock so you get back to work in time? someone has to know the answer to this one.

~is it bad to have your first sexual encounter with someone rushed?~

damn it, i have minimal amount of time to find out...help, please let me know!?

1st entry

2005-12-13T07:43:00.000-08:00

this is a new thing for me...and its going to be completely anonymous (i'm not a speller). just checking this out...